OPINION

Chasing dreams, music or mothering?

Alesa Miller
Pratt Tribune
Stock photo

All I had ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. Many women have aspirations of a fancy career, but my greatest desire in life was just to be a wife and mom.

But something else I love to do is sing. After we moved to Valdosta, Georgia, while Jeff was in the military through a series of different events I had the opportunity to open at a concert for an old southern gospel group called the Hinsons. This was not the first time, but through different scenarios and situations over the past several years the opportunity had risen for me to do so a couple times.

The Hinson’s started out in the late 1960s and continued to tour till the late 1980s; brothers Kenny, Ronny, Larry and their Sister Yvonne traveled around singing. Gospel Music hosted a television show called the "Gospel Jubilee." Ronny is most famous for writing the gospel hit song “The Lighthouse," which ended up being recorded by Elvis. For a year, they maintained at least four songs in the top 10 southern gospel music charts.

The last time I had the opportunity to open for the group, during a break, Ronny found me behind the stage and offered to record a record for me. He said he could write all the songs and help produce it. But I politely declined because all I ever really wanted to be was a wife and mother. 

See, we had just had our first child Lee, and all I could think about was how I didn't want anything to take my attention away from being a mother. I knew that recording an album would take a lot of time. Then there was the traveling time I would have to be away from my family to promote it. Let alone the extra expense it would take to do so. 

The answer was easy then and still to this day I am thankful for the opportunity to know I made the right decision for my family.

I would be lying to say that I have never thought about what could be. What might have happened had I taken Ronny up on his offer. Who knows, I could have been the female version of Steven Curtis Chapman.

You know, the Bible talks about that for everything there is a season. In Ecclesiastes 3 NIV 

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

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a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

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a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

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a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

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a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

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a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

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a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

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a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil — this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Some people would say in this world you should do and can have it all. I believe that to a point. I just don’t think they can have it all at the same time, at least not and do it very well.

There is a season for everything. I could not have been the homeschooling mother I needed to be for 21 years to my three children who ages span some 12 years. Two of my children learn differently than the rest because of various forms of dyslexia they suffer with, and one severely suffered with several different learning styles.

Jeff and I have always taken raising our children very seriously; although we may be ministering to hundreds of people at one time, none were as important as our children.

Our parenting motto was “What good does it do, to win the whole world, if we lose our own kids' souls.”

I am proud to say each one of my children love and serve God, and I don’t know if that would have happened if I had been out chasing my own dreams and not doing the very first thing God called me to do.

Parenting is not part-time — it is a full-time job with no benefits to ourselves here on this earth except the joy of knowing you have done the right thing and a super sweet hug or two occasionally after they tell you they love you.

Many times in this life, we don’t get to see our reward for doing good here, but we can be assured there is a Heavenly Father watching us and keeping track of the right choices we make when no one else is looking, and He will reward us at just the right time if we will not get weary in our well doing.

Because He does make everything beautiful in His time. Not ours.